The way I have had to love Macey has taught me so much about love. 

In the days of hospital stays, procedures, tests, and walking through trauma (as a family) I had to love in ways I didn’t think I had the strength for.

Macey needed me to show up despite exhaustion or fear. 

The boys got what I had leftover to give because of my frequent absence and their sister typically being the priority. 

The way Macey’s brothers now love her has also taught me about love. It is true unconditional love. They could be resentful because of her additional needs and the extra demands on my time, but they are not.

Macey’s brothers want to protect her, help her, and they smile at her enthusiasm and quirkiness. Their eyes sparkle because of the joy she brings and they have compassion and empathy for her struggles. 

The way Macey’s dad, my husband, views her unknown trajectory teaches me about love. He doesn’t overthink it in the same way and just believes in our daughter and whatever her purpose is on this earth. 

He has even been able to see leukemia as a gift – not for what it was, but for what we have learned from it. 

Love is not something you always feel coursing through you. Sometimes love looks like hard work. 

Macey continues to grow my ability to love. Despite frustrations, tiredness, and fear of what her future holds, I have to show up again and again in love  – in the way she needs it.

Love looks like …

~ tenderness when she screams 

~ patience when she cannot process directions

~ grace when we need to change course

~ walking away or hiring help when things escalate

~ hugs and care when behaviour is bad 

~ flexibility when the plan we have doesn’t work for her

~ praise for the smallest of progress

~ doing it all on repeat when you think you have no energy left

~ accommodating not pushing

~ compassion, empathy, and seeking to understand 

Love at its core really is action. This Valentine’s Day I wanted to remind you that we see love demonstrated in many ways. 

I hope you can see and hold onto the beautiful ways you see the love this year.

~Cait